Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0209	Opened Christmas gifts before Christmas morning		0.99 USD

You found the hiding spot. You looked inside. You then performed surprise with the energy of a community theater lead.

You found the hiding spot. You looked inside. You then performed surprise with the energy of a community theater lead.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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Filed under Family. Back to the catalog