Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0071	Unsolicited Sermon Texts		0.99 USD

You were told 'I'm good, thanks.' You heard 'please send more.'

Three paragraphs of scripture at 7 a.m., a 'just thinking of you 🙏,' and a follow-up when they left you on read. They didn't want a blessing. They wanted to know why you texted.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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Filed under Sins Against Others. Back to the catalog