Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0351	Bought vitamins and never opened the bottle		0.99 USD

The new you was supposed to start the day you bought them. The seal is intact, and so is the old you.

The new you was supposed to start the day you bought them. The seal is intact, and so is the old you.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

Prefer the app?

Processed via supported checkout providers. Refunds are handled under the policy of the app store or payment provider you bought through; see our Terms.

Filed under Self-Inflicted. Back to the catalog