Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0342	Chewed ice like your molars were free		0.99 USD

Every crunch was a small deposit toward a future crown. The crown will cost more than the drink did.

Every crunch was a small deposit toward a future crown. The crown will cost more than the drink did.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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Processed via supported checkout providers. Refunds are handled under the policy of the app store or payment provider you bought through; see our Terms.

Filed under Self-Inflicted. Back to the catalog