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Register of Absolutions

Fol. Particulars Severity Fee
S-0139

Microwaved salmon in the break room

0.99 USD
Illustration for Microwaved salmon in the break room
Exhibit S-0139

The smell outlived your lunch. It outlived the afternoon. Some say it is still there.

The smell outlived your lunch. It outlived the afternoon. Some say it is still there.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

  • Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
  • Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
  • Re-download forever
  • Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
  • Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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