Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0270	Sent a "thinking of you" text to someone you've been meaning to properly catch up with for two years		0.99 USD

The text was kind. The text was also a substitute for the actual conversation. The conversation remains unscheduled.

The text was kind. The text was also a substitute for the actual conversation. The conversation remains unscheduled.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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