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Register of Absolutions

Fol. Particulars Severity Fee
S-0361

Texted the final score to someone watching the game later

0.99 USD
Illustration for Texted the final score to someone watching the game later
Exhibit S-0361

The suspense was a shared resource. You spent it.

Disclosed the outcome of a recorded event to a person who had made their intentions clear. The message was received with notification sounds.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

  • Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
  • Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
  • Re-download forever
  • Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
  • Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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