Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0312	Turned off the porch light and hid in the dark from trick-or-treaters		0.99 USD

You sat silently in your own home like a raccoon in a trash can. The doorbell rang eleven times.

You sat silently in your own home like a raccoon in a trash can. The doorbell rang eleven times.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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Filed under Seasonal. Back to the catalog