Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0295	Watched a cooking video and then ordered takeout		0.99 USD

The video was instructional. It instructed you that cooking is complex. You processed this and called DoorDash. The video achieved the opposite of its intention.

The video was instructional. It instructed you that cooking is complex. You processed this and called DoorDash. The video achieved the opposite of its intention.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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Processed via supported checkout providers. Refunds are handled under the policy of the app store or payment provider you bought through; see our Terms.

Filed under Self-Inflicted. Back to the catalog