Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0134	Watched someone's entire Instagram story series and didn't respond		0.99 USD

They posted fourteen slides. You watched all fourteen. You tapped away at the end like a ghost at a film festival.

They posted fourteen slides. You watched all fourteen. You tapped away at the end like a ghost at a film festival.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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