Register of Absolutions

Fol.	Particulars	Severity	Fee
S-0364	Wore the same unwashed jersey all season for luck		0.99 USD

The shirt has not lost since October. The shirt has not been laundered since October.

Wore one garment every game day on the theory that cleaning it would break a spell. The household has filed no objection, only a window.

Why 0.99 USD? This rate reflects emotional cleanup costs, repeat offense potential, and the administrative burden of issuing a very handsome absolution.

• Uniquely numbered certificate (landscape PDF)
• Entry in your Sinventory, synced across all devices
• Re-download forever
• Optional share-card with your name + cert ID for social
• Forfeiture of any remaining moral high ground

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Filed under Self-Inflicted. Back to the catalog