"Took the last slice"
It sat there, alone, calling to you. You answered. You are the reason we can't have nice things.
I. · The Catalog
371 redeemable indiscretions.
Search by name, category, or severity. Updated weekly by people who care more than they should.
"Replied "K""
You had the full keyboard. You chose one letter. Historians will note this as a low point.
"Opened the group gift early"
The card hadn't even been passed around yet. Congratulations on your speed and your shame.
"Walked in on a meeting 8 minutes late and said "sorry, what did I miss?""
You missed 8 minutes. We will not be recapping 8 minutes.
"Pushed the elevator button that was already lit"
Did you think it wasn't pressed hard enough? It was pressed. It is lit. You have done nothing.
"Sneezed into the room instead of your elbow"
The elbow exists precisely for this moment. It was right there.
"Left 1% battery on the shared charger"
That is not sharing. That is a crime dressed as generosity.
"Waved back at someone who wasn't waving at you"
You committed with full confidence. We respect the bravery. We cannot forgive the execution.
"Said "I'll Venmo you" and did not Venmo"
The road to social bankruptcy is paved with forgotten Venmos.
"Walked slowly in the middle of a narrow hallway"
You were the dam. The whole river of humanity backed up behind you.
"Answered a question with a question"
"What do you mean?" is not an answer. It is an obstacle. You are an obstacle.
"Held the elevator for someone very, very far away"
You made 7 people stare at each other for 40 seconds out of politeness. Nobody wanted this.