"Took the last slice"
It sat there, alone, calling to you. You answered. You are the reason we can't have nice things.
The Catalog · All sins
Etiquette
The unwritten rules, broken in public. Chewing loudly, standing too close, and saying "let's circle back" to a person you have no intention of circling back to.
"Replied "K""
You had the full keyboard. You chose one letter. Historians will note this as a low point.
"Opened the group gift early"
The card hadn't even been passed around yet. Congratulations on your speed and your shame.
"Walked in on a meeting 8 minutes late and said "sorry, what did I miss?""
You missed 8 minutes. We will not be recapping 8 minutes.
"Pushed the elevator button that was already lit"
Did you think it wasn't pressed hard enough? It was pressed. It is lit. You have done nothing.
"Sneezed into the room instead of your elbow"
The elbow exists precisely for this moment. It was right there.
"Left 1% battery on the shared charger"
That is not sharing. That is a crime dressed as generosity.
"Waved back at someone who wasn't waving at you"
You committed with full confidence. We respect the bravery. We cannot forgive the execution.
"Said "I'll Venmo you" and did not Venmo"
The road to social bankruptcy is paved with forgotten Venmos.
"Walked slowly in the middle of a narrow hallway"
You were the dam. The whole river of humanity backed up behind you.
"Answered a question with a question"
"What do you mean?" is not an answer. It is an obstacle. You are an obstacle.
"Held the elevator for someone very, very far away"
You made 7 people stare at each other for 40 seconds out of politeness. Nobody wanted this.
"Wore a loud watch to a silent room"
TICK. TICK. TICK. Your timepiece is confessing on your behalf.
"Put the toilet paper roll on the wrong way and didn't fix it"
You noticed. You made a choice. You left. The next person has been thinking about you ever since.
"Used speakerphone in a public place"
The entire waiting room now knows both sides of your conversation with your landlord. We were all trapped. Nobody asked.
"Reclined a car seat without warning the person behind you"
Their knees were right there. You knew. You reclined anyway. "Sorry" came three seconds too late.
"Asked to "try a bite" and took a real bite"
A bite implies a small, socially acceptable quantity. What you took has a name. It's called a portion.
"Replied to a group email with "thanks!""
Seventeen people received your gratitude. Sixteen of them did not need it. None of them wanted it.
"Left at halftime to beat the traffic"
The road was empty. So was the seat.
"Saved the best couch seat with a jacket and disappeared for an hour"
A coat is not a person. The registry has checked.
"Asked someone to hold your place in line while you kept shopping"
Your place in line went shopping.
"Stopped at the top of the escalator to decide where to go"
The escalator does not have a pause button.
"Pressed the elevator's close button while making eye contact"
The close button saw your face.
iOS coming soonGet it on Google Play