"Ate candy right after the dentist said to cut back on sugar"
The dentist's voice was still in the room. The wrapper was already open.
I. · The Catalog
371 redeemable indiscretions.
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"Bought whitening strips for a smile nobody asked for"
You wore them for the full 30 minutes, lips parted like a haunted mannequin. The smile is now two shades brighter and exactly as noticed.
"Told the dentist it doesn't hurt while they were poking it"
You said "it's fine" through cotton and a tiny mirror. The tooth filed a rebuttal.
"Opened a package with your teeth"
The scissors were eleven feet away. Your incisors were right there, unpaid and unprepared.
"Stopped taking the antibiotics the day you felt better"
The bottle said "finish the course." You treated it as a suggestion from a bottle.
"Sighed loudly at the person ahead of you in the pharmacy line"
They were asking a real question about a real prescription. You were holding a single greeting card.
"Kept a drawer of expired medicine just in case"
In case of what, you have never specified. The ibuprofen is from 2019 and has become more of a keepsake.
"Bought vitamins and never opened the bottle"
The new you was supposed to start the day you bought them. The seal is intact, and so is the old you.
"Told the pharmacist you only drink socially"
She asked a screening question and you gave a press release. She has heard "socially" before. It was not true then either.
"Played video games all day like you were sixteen again"
You were fine until you stood up.
"Left the fantasy lineup on autopilot and called it strategy"
The roster has not been opened since week one. The confidence remains.
"Wore the same unwashed jersey all season for luck"
The shirt has not lost since October. The shirt has not been laundered since October.