"Opened a self-help book and never got past chapter 2"
Chapter 1 introduced the problem. Chapter 2 was the solution. You will never know the solution.
I. · The Catalog
371 redeemable indiscretions.
Search by name, category, or severity. Updated weekly by people who care more than they should.
"Oppression"
You had power. You used it to make someone smaller.
"Put an empty box back in the fridge"
The crumbs remain. The box remains. The audacity also remains.
"Replied-all to a company-wide email by accident"
"Happy birthday Steve" - received by 3,400 colleagues who do not know Steve.
"Replied "K""
You had the full keyboard. You chose one letter. Historians will note this as a low point.
"Sacrilege"
That place, that thing, that name — it was set apart for something greater. You treated it like it wasn't.
"Split a bill down to the exact cent and sent a Venmo request"
"Your share is $14.37." The math was precise. The friendship was slightly less so.
"Stood up the instant the plane landed"
The fasten-seatbelt sign was still on. You were committed. You went nowhere for 9 minutes.
"Subtweeted someone they absolutely saw"
"Not naming names." You named names. The names had Wi-Fi and read it immediately.
"Took the whole bowl of candy because nobody was coming"
Nine kids rang the bell. You answered the door with a mouth full of fun-size Snickers.
"Turned a 2-minute story into a 20-minute saga"
"Wait, I need to give you background." The background took 19 minutes. The story was 60 seconds.
"Wastefulness"
The abundance was real. The stewardship was not.