"Called dibs on the best seat before the guests arrived"
Your jacket had a lovely evening.
I. · The Catalog
371 redeemable indiscretions.
Search by name, category, or severity. Updated weekly by people who care more than they should.
"Asked someone to hold your place in line while you kept shopping"
Your place in line went shopping.
"Stopped at the top of the escalator to decide where to go"
The escalator does not have a pause button.
"Pressed the elevator's close button while making eye contact"
The close button saw your face.
"Reacted to a three-year-old message while scrolling through someone's history"
The notification carried an archaeological date.
"Sent a question mark two minutes after your first message"
Two minutes later, the punctuation police arrived.
"Liked your own post and gave it a fire emoji"
The applause came from inside the account.
"Sent a screenshot of a conversation to a person in that conversation"
The screenshot found its original owner.
"Double-dipped a chip while explaining that it was fine"
The dip did not consent to round two.
"Ordered "just fries" and sampled everyone else's meal"
Your fries came with a tasting menu.
"Left breadcrumbs in the communal butter"
The butter kept the breakfast receipts.